Julia wakes up in the morning feeling really good about herself and motivated to start her day. She gets ready for school and heads out. When she arrives she runs into her friend Karen. Karen doesn’t seem to be having a great day and after taking a look at Julia she says, “You look horrible Julia, you must have had a rough night. Are you having a big test today?”. Julia responds, “Really, I look horrible?
Actually no, I don’t have a big test today.”. After hearing that comment from Karen, Julia’s attitude completely changes. Now she’s just hoping to get through the day with as little interaction with others as possible.

When we let ourselves be impacted in such a way by criticism from others we are basically leaving our feelings towards ourselves, and overall our happiness, in the control of others. This is because we of course can’t control what others will say to us. What we can control is how we respond when faced with criticism. In the case with Julia, if she would have stayed strong on how she felt before running into Karen, she would have dismissed her comment and continued her day feeling good about herself and motivated. Being able to do this requires building confidence, starting with setting your identity (read post “What is Your Identity). Don’t dismiss all criticism, some will be constructive, and having self confidence will allow you to distinguish from them. Know who you are and be unshakable!

“Don’t mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it; if unfair, keep from irritation; if it is ignorant, smile; if it is justified, it is not criticism, learn from it.” –Anonymous